This is the most timid, lily-livered apology of a videogame we’ve played in quite some time. Oh, it’s for kids though, isn’t it? Yeah, that makes its paucity of ideas or guts all okay and everything. Let us tell you: each grey hair and worry line that sprouts onto your visage in the haze of your bathroom mirror should be celebrated with a full-on street party, because it means you’re another feature removed from the target audience of ass-biscuits like this that are packaged up and palmed off as games at 50 bucks a pop… …

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